Bikehu #1: Original Bike Haiku by A Dude Abikes

Traffic

O'er the river, 
through the wood. I would bike, but
missed the fucking turn.
Full beer glass in hand,
delicious golden nectar.
Bike drivers ed class!
Trees, sun, road, bike, me.
Mack truck dog very shiny: 
Medicare for all.
“One biker is fine.”
“Bike gangs deserve my bumper.”
-- small-dicked sports car man
"Did you see that ass-
hole? Almost crashed into me!"
Speed trap. Karma, bitch!

Pain

Saddle so, so sore!
Gobs of Chamois Butt’r failed.
Really chaps my ass.
“Mountain biking’s fun!”
he said. My legs burn and scream.
No fire trucks in hills.
I did something wrong --
too hasty, my gravel turn.
Road rash; ironic.
You bike, you suffer.
Must break eggs to make omelette.
"Yeah, but I’m the toast!"
IT band (not nerd
musicians) pains me. Foam roll
by Torquemada.
Tomás de Torquemada
Grand Inquisitor of Spain
Me:  "Biking hurts me."
Doc:  "Stop biking a while." Me:
"Been a while yet, Doc?"

You just get faster;
it doesn’t get easier.
¡Caca del toro!

Love

Pedal harder, not!
Feel the need for speed, I don’t…
‘til you pass, smiling.
Her sweat? Sweet flowers.
Quads bulge through Lycra.  Alas,
ant on horizon.
Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
Sunny day, co-ed ride.
“Bicycle girl, how YOU doin’?”
Gone in six seconds.
"Have we met before?"
"Strava flyby." Profile pic
Photoshopped for sure.
I do love my bike.
You too, but it’s made of steel.
Flesh, bones can’t compete.

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6 thoughts on “Bikehu #1: Original Bike Haiku by A Dude Abikes

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