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Goodbye America, Nice Knowing You

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 18 Comments

Austin, Texas — The Mayor, in cahoots with the chief of Public Health (aka the SARS Czar is requiring residents to Shelter in Place starting today, but just for two weeks. (Yeah, right!) It’s also known as staying the fuck home, a curfew, being on lockdown with a few exceptions, and martial law lite (New! With scary virus features!) But because of a silent but deadly killer (no, not farts, it’s coronavirus), the land of the free and the home of the brave is having a major hissy fit. Some are asking what it all means to cancel everything including our Bill of Rights. Really, ‘merikuh? Suspend the US Constitution? WTF?

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The Fine Art of Finessing Follower Features on Strava

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 1 Comment

Strava, the fitness tracking app, has been a useful repository of rides, walks, swims and photos thereof, a good source of data, and a fun place to encourage others and to be encouraged. Unlike many social media sites (so far in my experience, and as I’m told), it’s a pretty positive place. This post explores a few of the features relating to followers. If you’re a cyclist not on the app, you may want to consider it, and these tips can help even if you are and may not be aware. And, before I forget, kudos to you for reading this post!

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On Resilience: Bicycling Through Life and the Pandemapocalypse

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 12 Comments

It’s hard to not write about the elephant in the room when it’s far, Far FAR! bigger than that. Coronavirus is like sunlight, or water — except that it’s poisonous for many, and deadly for some. There are I’m sure much more eloquent attempts to explain and interpret what’s going on. After all, I’m just A Dude who rides a bicycle and blogs about it. My tiny corner of the internet is just one example of something a few humans think is kinda cool, or interesting, or important, but in reality is not. It’s frivolous, navel-gazing distraction.

And yet, we each do what we can to cope, to survive, and maybe again even to thrive. So I’m writing this blog. And it occurred to me that maybe I’ve learned a few lessons from biking 100-175 miles a week for 22 weeks in a row that might help me and you get through this. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. (I’m not really suggesting you do that; please don’t.)

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Bike Puns and Jokes Attempt #3

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 5 Comments

I’ve attempted two previous bicycle humor posts: A Bicyclist Rides Into a Bar: Some Bike Jokes I Wrote Just for You and When I Can’t Pedal I Get Crank-y. Bike Puns for Fun. Given the times we’re living in right now, I figured I’d give number three a shot. How funny you think a joke is I suppose is a matter of taste and opinion. I just watched a stand-up comedy special and it looks so easy I figure anyone can do it. (I’m kidding!) As they say in the O’Henry Pun Off, it doesn’t have to be funny to be a pun. So let’s see what I can come up with on the spot. Hopefully it tickles your funny bone, provides some levity, or at least gets you laughing at me.

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Je Suis Fatigué: When You’re Stuck in the Spin Cycle

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 9 Comments

Possible titles for this post included (the humorless should skip the intro):

  • Biking Is Good for Getting In Shape to Escape the Zombie Hordes
  • Coronavirus; Things Will Get Worse Before They Get Worse (Lily Tomlin)
  • Can My Bicycle Get Coronavirus?
  • Rome Is Burning — Like Literally, People Have Fevers
  • COVID-19 – The Movie: Will Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Finally Portray the President?
  • We’re All Gonna Die, So May As Well Ride Your Bike
  • Anyone Know How “The Walking Dead” Ends?
  • Coronavirus, Some Coronavirus, and Also More Coronavirus

I’ve decided to go in another direction, though, and write about something related, still health-related and less apocalyptic.

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Help Enter a Dude Into the Writers League of Texas Manuscript Contest & Conference!

~ A Dude Abikes ~ Leave a comment

I’m putting this out into the blogosphere and universe to see what happens. Could be nothing, could be something, could be everything. The thing is this: your humble, currently unemployed (I prefer sans portfolio) blogger, bicyclist, book writer and other b-words cannot currently conjur the coins to enter himself into this contest. So, I’m thinking that perhaps perfectly pleasant people perusing these pages permutate into patrons.

That is, they (YOU) sponsor me to join the Texas Writers League and their Manuscript Contest – TODAY! (3/20/20) The benefis for me are having a snippet of my book reviewed professionally and even better, a shot at an awesome prize: free admittance to WLT’s Agents and Editors Conference. So if you want to learn about this and might want to pitch in, keep on reading.

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A Dude, an Esthetician and a Monoplegic Get Into a Hot Tub…

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 5 Comments

I bet you didn’t expect to read that sentence today! I didn’t expect to write it, either, but that’s pretty much what happened at the gym last night. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates, because you do know what you’re going to get: chocolate (aka choccy as they say Down Undah, right Missy?) But going to the gym you never know who you’re going to meet. (True story, I once met Meatball, the rock legend. But that’s another story. Although I will say that he introduced himself as Meat, and I said, without missing a beat, “As in, Mr. Loaf?”) To be honest, I didn’t meet the man with one functioning arm. He was in the pool though, and I did chat with a skin care professional. Interesting people abound!

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February 2020 Strava Stats: Bike, Walk and Swim

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 2 Comments

The shortest month of the year, albeit one with a Leap Day, was not as prolific as January, but by all accounts, still successful for your favorite aging, tired, undertall bicyclist blogger. There are two major reasons for that: I continued riding my bike every single day, with an eye on making at least 100 miles per week, and also the addition of swimming. So let’s have a look under the er, bottom bracket, shall we?

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What’s Goin’ On, Bike Dude?

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 4 Comments

Back when the Reverend Jesse Jackson, Jr., was running for president, he gave a speech at the University of Texas at Austin. By the end, he had the crowd of 5,000 Longhorns and some townie interlopers like me all riled up. He said “Repeat after me: “I am somebody. I AM Somebody! I AM SOMEBODY!” In true call-and-response gospel fashion, we chanted in full voice back. I believe that most of the time. But other days I’m just some dude who rides a bike and stuff, edits my bike memoir, and writes this blog. Sometimes there is no one theme for a post, so only a hodgepodge will do. This is one of those days. To quote John Lennon, another American icon of peace and justice: “My momma never told me there’d be days like these.”

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Goodreads: A Social Site for Book Lovers

~ A Dude Abikes ~ 3 Comments

There’s nothing like reading a good book, getting lost in another world while sitting at home and never moving out of your chair or exchanging pants for pajamas. I used to be a voracious reader, although the advent of Netflix sure hasn’t helped. Sometimes I still am. Given my penchant for recording my activities like bicycling, doing yoga, and walking, it makes sense to record what I read, too. Goodreads is a site for just that, a digital bookshelf, and much more. If you’re a reader, you probably know about it, but if you don’t, it’s worth a gander.

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