_________________________________. Get it? That was my attempt at drawing a blank. As blanks go, I think it’s a pretty good ‘un. Straight, not too long, black, crisp. But is it really a blank, or a blank line? Even white space is something. How does one draw an actual blank space anyway–white crayon on white paper? These important questions come to mind as I stall for time, waiting for a topic to reveal itself. So far, I’ve got nothing. In my last post, Austin Bicycling News Roundup for August 1, 2023, I wrote about five things happening around town. That’s because I often get tired of writing about myself. So what does that leave?

I guess there are the educational or informational: how to fix this bike problem, advice about which products to use to improve your speed, reviews of great bikes, shoes, clothes, etc. you should buy. I’m not feeling much like an expert these days. That stuff already abounds on YouTube and other platforms.

Once upon a time, I was going to interview other cyclists and add photos. I did two profiles of David Walker and Dena Kinate. They each have a Part 2. Please go read all four posts if you haven’t. They remain some of my most interesting and I think popular posts because they are interesting people. The professional photographer Alan Pogue of the Texas Center for Documentary Photography generously donated his time and effort. His contributions to those were a huge part of those profiles.

I started two more profiles, and thought I would have enough for a book, but the first book (a memoir or maybe a how to) is taking forever, and the pandemic hit, and yada yada. I should probably pick the profiles idea back up again. There are a lot of non-famous, regular Joe’s and Juana’s who bike and deserve to have their story told. But I’m told that once you publish something, even on a tiny, little-noticed blog like this one, no publisher will want to republish it.

I’ve got other, more pressing things on my mind. Having to find a new place to live in short amount of time on a low budget. Trying to obtain money to improve said budget, which requires study, which costs money. The old car I was gifted was in the shop again though it was a covered expense. The new Garmin watch freaked out for a few hours one night though it healed itself. My computer also had some problems that I had to get addressed and which cost money. The internet went down a couple of times. First World problems, for sure. But hey, it’s my blog, and I’ll complain if I want to.

At least the AC still works in this record-setting heat wave; we’re at 42 days in a row at or above 100 F. It’s unrelenting global warming with a side of El Nino, and it wears down the body, mind, and soul (if there is such a thing) even if I take a walk and then hide out inside for the rest of the day. And I do my daily biking on the boring indoor trainer. There’s a book title that comes to mind by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron. I’ve never read it, but I should since the title seems to sum up life pretty well: When Things Fall Apart. That would pair well with Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. What would Buddha say we should do in 2023? Sit. Breathe. Observe. Let go. Don’t attach. Repeat. Waaaaaaaay easier said than done, though, so I don’t do. Biking, walking, and yoga can be done mindfully, so I try that.

But mindfulness doesn’t stop problems. Like the car, this dude’s old body has seen some detioration. I’ve been slowly addressing health issues, like routine maintenance, though some things are not so routine. Last month there was a procedure; it went fine. Today was a dental cleaning; I passed. Tomorrow is a scan; I expect it will be good, but we’ll see. I’m supposed to have my blood drawn, requiring the dreaded early morning wake-up. I don’t think there is an artist with red paint involved, but I hope the blood draw draws a blank for bad stuff. Getting old is the goal, but it’s not fun to keep score of the various systems and body parts breaking down.

But there I go, writing about myself again. Write what you know, they say. How well do we really know ourselves? And what is our true self, anyway? I finally started and am finishing up a book that explores that concept, the long but excellent Pulitzer Prize-winning 2002 novel Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. In it, the narrator searches for meaning, purpose, and belonging, weaving together stories of three generations of a Greek family who immigrated to Detroit. It makes the reader ponder their own stories–past, present, and future.

Speaking of that, what about this time and space stuff? What if there is more than we know and see? Could there really be parallel universes, like in the HBO/BBC series I’m watching called His Dark Materials (based on the fantasy book trilogy by Philip Pullman)? The books critique religion, which some people didn’t like. But who the hell really knows what lies beyond this realm, and death–if anything? It’s an open question to me, as I wrote in a post titled In Bike I Trust: The Faith of an Agnostic Athiest Cyclist. “Those who know don’t say, and those who say don’t know.”

Back in 1972 Jazz rock band Steely Dan captured the mood of my meandering mucking about for meaning in the song Reelin’ in the Years:

[Verse 1]
Your everlasting summer
And you can see it fading fast
So you grab a piece of something
That you think is gonna last
Well, you wouldn't even know a diamond
If you held it in your hand
The things you think are precious
I can't understand

[Chorus]
Are you reelin' in the years?
Stowin' away the time?
Are you gatherin' up the tears?
Have you had enough of mine?
Are you reelin' in the years?
Stowin' away the time?
Are you gatherin' up the tears?
Have you had enough of mine?

Copyright Steely Dan

For some reason, I’m reminded that I was in Wheatsville Coop the other night where I spent five bucks on an organic cucumber and some almond flour cookies on sale. I was chatting with the cashier about The Big Lebowski since it recently showed at the Paramount Theater summer movie series, and it will show again on the big screen at the Galaxy Theater in Austin on August 21. It came out 25 years ago in 1998. I’m trying to get my writing friends who’ve not seen the Coen Brothers cult classic to watch the film. Anyway, the guy (certainly not worth the moniker dude) in line behind me said he didn’t care for it. I’d never heard anyone say that. I responded perfectly, for once: “Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”

And with that, thus concludes this blog. Just my opinion. Not so blank a blog after all. Here’s to filling in the blanks in your life with bicycling, babies, Barbies, brewskis, bowling, babkes, borscht, billionaires, … or whatever has meaning for you.

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