Here’s a reminder about this important media release from fitness app Strava: https://wp.me/p75hY4-44K

In other headline news: A dude rode his bike in Austin today, and car drivers were nice! The cyclist pedaled downtown for an event at the local classical music station.

Contacted by this reporter, a dude was quoted as saying, “Yeah, it was a real chill ride. Everybody was super nice. Like, you know, I totally didn’t see anybody on their cell phones. They waited for me to go first at stop signs, and even smiled and waved. It was rad. Pretty much awesome sauce!”

Asked to go into more detail, the cyclist who declined to give his name but identified as a fathlete–a fat athlete, and just a dude–was amazed at drivers’ generosity. “Can people in cars be jerks? Sure. Are they bad people trying to kill me and every biker they see? No,” he elaborated. “Not today. It was sumpin’ special, for some reason.”

This reporter asked a dude, “Could you say more about how you felt biking here today?” The fat dude on a bike replied, “Sure, dude!” despite this reporter being and identifying as female.

“The coolest thing, besides not a single person honking at me, was the drivers making eye contact, but also smiling at me,” a dude explained. “It was as if they were just really happy to see another middle aged fat white dude huffing and puffing away, saving the environment, reducing traffic, getting exercise in the fresh air and sunshine, even though I was in the way and slowing them down,” he added.

“How did that make you feel?” this reporter inquired, touching a dude’s arm professionally but affectionately while smiling. “If I had to pick one word that the kids say these days, I’d probably have to go with ‘Amazeballs,’ actually,” a dude answered.

He continued: “Most days I’m just a big ass ball of stress, wondering if this will be my last ride on Planet Earth. You know, no disrepect or nuthin’, but drivers can be kinda, um, extra. Yanno what I’m sayin’? But today was somethin’ special, man. Uh, dude. I mean, ma’am,” a dude responded.

The reporter on the scene nodded her head vigorously in assent, especially since a dude had finally picked up on her pronouns and obvious feelings of positive regard for and attraction to the cyclist. She added, a bit flustered, “Any final thoughts for my riders, I mean, the readers of this article, sir, uh, a dude?”

“Well, yeah,” he said. “I just wanna send big love and shout outs to all my homies, home slices, bros, shawties, and so on. All the car and truck drivers today–y’all really brought your A-game by following all the traffic laws. Like stayin’ the hell outta the friggin’ bike lanes, not rollin’ through stops, or right hookin’ or left crossin’, yanno, stupid stuff like that,” a dude said, obviously feeling emotionally moved by the kindness of strangers and truly noticing the cuteness of the reporter for the first time.

He concluded, “I dunno what’s so special about today, but it was like friggin’ magic! Like someone rolled out the red carpet for me and everyone made way. I felt like Moses had opened the Red Sea for me to cycle through Esst Austin. Noice! Peace out, everyone!”

This reporter concluded the interview by offering her business card to a dude, making a point to write her personal mobile number on the reverse with an added little heart shape. She added, “You know, in case you want to follow up on the article and have any other thoughts to add,” she said.

A dude thanked this reporter and biked away on his steel maroon GT Arette, and was heard to say, “What an unbelievable day!”

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