A Blog Post About Something, but First…

… lemme tell you about my day. A Tuesday, it ’twas. And boy, what a doozy! Actually, it really wasn’t that much of a doozy. I just enjoy using the word doozy. Which makes me think about whoopsie daisy. Can you have a doozy of a whoospie daisy? Or a whoopsie daisy doozy? wonder if anyone has ever written those two sentences. Probably, there’s nothing new under the sun. Oh, yeah, you’re right: tell you about my day. Speaking of the sun, it was hot. It only got to 98 degrees, so that wasn’t a doozy, but I did get dizzy on my walk. I went over to the Orifice Despot to make some copies. I was standing at the copy machine, makin copies. And I printed some things, too. Well, the copy machine did. It’s like a transformer, it turned into a printer, though I noticed no changes. And then I walked home. Even hotter. And then…

Well, I don’t remember exactly what I did next. But that’s not important. This blog post is about something. And I really want to get to that. Oh, yeah, I remember! What I did after my walk, you know? I drank a bunch of water. I even put some powered electrolyte powder in it. I think it was the berry flavor. Or maybe the lime watermelon one. I’m not sure which I prefer. They’re both tasty in different ways. Do I have to choose a favorite? It might hurt the other one’s feelings. Of course, I know that powders don’t have feelings. Silly of me, you must understand, it was hot so my brain is a little fried.

Little sprouts of something.

But plants do have feelings, they say. Which reminds me, I put the little planter with sprouts coming out of it outside. It was cute how they were reaching toward the window, toward the sunlight. It’s a neat little thing I was sent. It has a wick that draws up the water. So you don’t have to remember to water it, except when the holder runs out. I have no idea what is growing. I sure hope it’s not a venus fly-trap, the plant from that movie where it talks and says “Feed me, Seymour!” and then eats a person. I think I’m safe because it’s a very small pot.

The word pot brings up a point. Before I tell you about the important subject of today’s blog post, I want to talk about something serious here. I would like to encourage any and all of my young readers to don’t do drugs and stay in school. It’s not that I’m moralistic about the herbal stuff, it just stinks to high heave (or stinks like hell, your preference) and I never saw the attraction. And even older readers may want to think twice about the wacky tobacky, because it can lead to the munchies and weight gain, so I’m told. Then you’re going to have to ride your bike a lot more to stay thin.

Bicycling. Could that be the topic of this post du blog? It would make sense, given that’s the main theme. It’s right there in the name, A Dude ABIKES. Professional blog people say only right about your niche but to them I ask, “Do you have a master’s degree in blogs?” Well, I used to ask that. Because once someone answered, “Yeah, I’ve got a Masters of Advanced Digital Arts Media.” And I said, “Hey, did you know the acronym for that is M.A.D.A.M.?” And it was a dude who said, “Man, I never thought of that!” and skulked off mumbling to himself. I showed him! So yeah, I write about whatever I want.

Like today’s big issue, which is, are you ready? Well, first I’ve got something on the stove, so you’re going to wait for it…

And… I’m back. Where was I? Oh yeah, The Topic. But yum, this is actually pretty good. It turns out I’m not that bad a cook when I put my mind to it. Food is a pretty important topic for bicycling, especially if you’re a fat athlete aka fathlete like me. Or is it like I? A fathlete like I (am) needs to eat food to be able to keep up my daily bicycling habit. And I bicycle for many reasons, like transportation, even if it’s hot or I’m tired (usually my body absolutely requires a later afternoon nap), because I’m still trying to stop being a fathlete. At least the fat part. It’s not working for whatever reason, but I’m maintaining. Man, did I mention it’s hot out there?

Also, I can’t stop getting distracted from the main theme. Which is… oh dang! Would you look at the time? It’s very late, and I have many miles to go before I sleep. But I promise I’ll get into that very important item at some point in the future… Hmm, was it about time, maybe? That’s an important item for sure. Really one of the most crucial because time waits for no person. Time is NOT on our side. Oops! Time for my bike ride, now the sun’s gone down. But I really do want to tell you about this VERY IMPORTANT POST. Sigh, maybe next time.


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