5/5/2025:  Is Bike Month Useful? Or Just Performative Bragging?

It’s bike month–again. Oh joy. The usual brouhaha is made over how wonderful bicycles are. How kids should bike to school and workers should bike to work. Everyone should ditch the car and bike to the grocery store, etc. Bike bike bike. There are group rides and media and sponsors and beer and fun and so on ad nauseam. And that’s all well and good. More butts on bikes means less pollution, less traffic, and less overfat people such as this dude. There’s nothing really wrong with having a month dedicated to bikes. I could have used the encouragement to do it years ago myself. I guess it just all feels a little fake. So  this blog is gonna be a bit of a rant. Again. Nothing too crazy. I promise you’ll be alright.

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Top 10 Tips for the Aging Cyclist

Hi. Your dude here. I recently griped again about that which ails me. I’m somehow but barely managing to keep biking each day, even when it’s slow to low mileage. It occurred to compile a list, a la Letterman (David), though not as amusing, but more useful. (No wives were cheated on my or interns schtupped in the making of this blog post, having neither, wife, intern, nor hit TV show.) Anyway, if you’re doing things right, you are currently still alive as you read this and so you’re aging, too. Very relatable. So, if you bike, walk, hike, run, swim, etc. you might resonate with the idea that the old bod is not able to do what it used to do (be do be do). Without further ado, and no doo doo, here’s…. Dudey!

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12 Ways Not to Die on a Bicycle

Death comes as the end of all living beings, be they mammalian, amphibian, reptilian, and avian. To paraphrase a 1972 song that recently got stuck in my head by the band The Main Ingredient, “Everybody plays the ghoul, there’s no exception to the rule.” As my brother says, “Nobody gets out alive.” In this cheery and uplifting post, A Dude Abikes (c’est moi!) shares a few thoughts and a dozen pointers on how people on bikes can remain among the land of the living.


Source: Dreamstime

As the subspecies of Homo sapiens who propel themselves around on two-wheeled machines, bicyclists are certainly vulnerable road users and thus susceptible to death by car crash. “In 2021 there were 966 pedalcyclist fatalities, accounting for 2.2 percent of all traffic fatalities that year,” (in the USA). That’s 966 too many, but relatively encouragiing considering the 42,939 people who died total by car crash which includes pedestrians. Another stat says 20% of the cyclists in crashes with cars were drunk. Also, “In 2021 an estimated 41,615 pedalcyclists were injured.” This is according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. However, bicycling is still generally safe if you follow the rules and ride defensively.

So, what does one do to steer clear of the Grim Reaper, to avoid getting into that irreversible and proverbial pickle with that old black-clad creeper with the sickle? These tips are probably not news to most of you who are hard core cyclists, but they bear repeating. These tips are probably not news to most of you who are hard core cyclists, but they bears repeating. (Those two sentences were brought to you by Monty Python’s Department of Redundancy Department. Well, really just the second one, if you want to be precise. And where did the talking bear come from? What’s their story?)

  1. Know thyself. If you think you’re faster than that car barrelling down the road toward you, and you’re not, you’ll learn this lesson quickly. Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, and ride within them. If you’re not sure, don’t risk it.
  2. Be visible. During the day you are more likely to be seen, but there’s also more traffic. At night can be fine with good lights, a safety vest, and brightly colored clothes are all great ways to remain among the not dead (yet), in the land of the living crowd. A very bright headlight that is flashing even during the day can really help you to stand out. Conversely, avoiding all of those things are a good way to get deaded quickly.
  3. Never trust car drivers to follow the law. Tonight on my daily ride, an idiot was driving a Jeep IN THE PROTECTED BIKE LANE HEAD ON! This happened as I approached an intersection, trying to enter the two-way bike lane HE HAD COMPLETLY BLOCKED. This was with a car right in front of me. Even if they signal or wave you on, watch them like hawks until they pass or you know you’re safe.
  4. Follow the law. There are plenty of cyclists who flaunt the rules. We’ve all half-stopped or rolled through four-way stop signs when no cars are around. But FFS, don’t go darting across red lights, rie in the opposite direction, fail to signal, and so on because you could die. Be predictable and act like the vehicle you are.
  5. Wear a helmet. Yes, they’re not perfect, they mess up your hair, and look silly. Try watching this crash test dummy (head only) video on YouTube by Chris Rollins on YouTube. The slow-motion in particular shows the graphic impact of a head hitting the road at 55 mph with a helmet (granted, it’s a motorcycle helmet) versus one without protection. Then go immediately to buy a helmet and wear it 100% of the time you’re bicycling. I once crashed on a shitty sidewalk and hit my helmet, not my head. That’s why I’m here and not dead. Here’s my post titled New Bicycle Helmet Poem, which has a link to a more serious post, Helmet Schelmet: Should You Wear a Brain Bucket on a Bicycle?.
  6. Plot your route. Ask your local bicycle shop, other bike riders, or even find your city’s bike map if they have one. But when going somewhere new (which is not often, since I’ve been in Austin about 27 years total), I pull up Google Maps, select the Bicycle option to highlight the green or dotted-green paths. These are usually safer ways to go. Usually; you can verify this yourself by looking at the street view to see if there’s a bike lane, a debris-filled narrow shoulder, sidewalk, or nothing. If it’s a commute, and you have a car, you could drive first to find the best way.
  7. Ride only on trails, sidewalks, and side roads. Depending where you live, you might be able to find shortcuts that take you away from major streets. I often ride sidewalks, especially when there are no bike lanes and traffic is screaming by at 50 miles per hour. Just check your municipality for where it’s legal; in most places, it is fine. Of course you have to pay extra attentiion to vehicles coming out of parking lots, especially if you are goiing against traffic; cars definitely are not looking for you. Then there are curbs, gaps, pedestrians, etc. Trails are great if they go where you want to. Streets are likely inevitable though at some point.
  8. Be willing to go off the beaten path. Some places are more bicycle-friendly than others, so be prepared for some dirt, mud, grass, and the like. Recently, on a ride in the ‘burbs of a certain large Texas city, I had to do some rough riding in the dirt. Although it could be anywhere, including Austin, it is more common for that area for a sidewalk to simply end. The alternative was biking on the service road of a tollway, so I chose life and stayed away from Death Race 2023 by going slowly over the uneven udeveloped earth.
  9. ABC — Always Be Checking. Keep your head on a swivel. Look as much ahead, to the sides, and behind you with peripheral vision. Some people opt for rear-view mirrors.
  10. Eliminate distractions. Never use headphones (bone conduction might be an exception, but still, I don’t), talk on your cell phone, or blast your Bluetooth speaker. These are no-brainers, which your head will bee if you do them and don’t see hear the silent electric vehiclee behind you with a distracted driver as they smash into your clueless body.
  11. Get an electric bike. I don’t use one (yet) or go out of my way to advocate for them, because it feels like cheating. I call them motorcycles, which they are, technically. And, although I’m a fathlete, I’m trying to not get fatter, so I need the exercise. However, they are less polluting than cars, so I’m not opposed to them whee operated safely. They are risky when ridden by inexperienced riders. But if you can handle them, they will give you extra power going uphill or to get out of the way of cars.
  12. Ride in a pack. Group rides are generally better especially on rural roads because there is safety in numbers. Unless you get some jackass who plows into your peloton. Vehicles generally will get the point and wait until it’s safe to go around you.
  13. BONUS: Don’t ride at all. This one makes no sense to me, because not bicycling does not compute. And, no risk, no reward. Not bicycling guarantees you won’t die by riding a bicycle. But if you get around some other way than by bike, those aren’t risk-free either. You could also include riding exclusively on a trainer with this point, because you’re not really riding. However, you could die on on a trainer, especially the kind with rollers, or from a heart attack, or sheer boredom.

I thought about including those newfangled air bags that iniflate from your helmet when it senses a crash, but it’s a product that’s not widely available yet, is expensive, and it won’t keep the rest of your body from being mangled in a crash.

Well, there you have it: a baker’s dozen ways to stay alive on your bicycle. Which is your favorite? What would you add to the list?

Source: Vector Stock

Copyright 2023 A Dude Abikes. All rights reserved. Shortlink for this post.

9/9/2023: Sit-Down with Sommar at 2,000 Miles (+ Totals of 40,000 Miles & 1,000,000 Feet Elevation)

As my annual big ride approaches, I noticed three statistics on my sports application Strava that seemed noteworthy, to moi at least, and maybe to you, faithful reader. My total mileage just surpassed 40,000 miles, and elevation passed 1,000,000 feet since I began recording, basically the very end of 2015. But the one that jumped out at me was the 2,000 miles I’ve ridden on Sommar (pronouced some ALL) the Fuji Finest bicycle. I was kindly gifted here when Sonnie the GT Arette was stolen and missing for a week. After a cool cat named Orion gave me the bike, at first I wasn’t sure she would work out. Those skinny tires, curvy drop bars, and nimble frame all gave me pause. But she and A Dude are getting along pretty well, so here’s an imaginary convo with the saucy, sexy minx herself.

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A Chat with Sophie the Fairdale at 20,000 Miles + 800 Consecutive Days of Bicycling

It’s a pair of milestones this time for A Dude Abikes and his trusty steed, Sophie, the Fairdale Weekender Archer. I won her in a raffle from Bike Austin back in 2017, though I didn’t start riding her exclusively until January of 2018. On Sunday, we passed 20,000 miles, according to the Gear setting on Strava, the fitness app (which means “to strive” in Swedish.) As it turned out, it happened the day after 800 days I bicycled in a row. Two years, two months and 10 days if you’re wondering.

There was some major effort involved, and with that some pain and suffering, that’s for sure. They’re all part of attaining these big numbers and worth commemorating. I’m not really tooting my horn here as much as I’m just reporting the facts. It’s another step on my journeys both on the bike and here in the pages of this blog.

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6 Similarities Betwixt Stand-Up Comedy and Sit-Down Cycling

How are we doing out there tonight, Poughkeepsie? (Puzzled looks.) You’re really a lovely crowd, I mean it. Please remember to tip your waiters. I gotta tell ya’, biking and comedy are two totally different disciplines, am I right? Anyone ride their bike here to the comedy club tonight? No? Well, shame on you for hating your Mother Earth. I biked here because I’ve got a lousy agent. He didn’t rent a car for me to get here from the hotel. And I know this agent is lousy, because it’s me! I’m my own agent. I gotta do everything for myself. So after biking here to do my set at Bananas Comedy Club, where some hack named James Fallon started, I found out — and this is true – the club relocated to Rutherford, New Jersey for the summer. Freakin’ Jersey! Fugghedaboud it! That’s why you looked at me like I was bonkers when I said Poughkeepsie. It’s a long ride: 77 miles, to be exact. Anyway, I should fire that agent, but I can’t. Well, let’s get to my set. Here’s how biking a joking are similar, like almost the the same exact thing.

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Fart Club: Protocol for Pootin’ in the Peloton

The first rule of Fart Club is that you never talk about Fart Club. The second rule of Fart Club is that you should never fart while bicycling in a group — unless you can figure out how to do it and not get caught. (For you Chuck Palhaniuk purists, when CP wrote Fight Club, he was talking about fighting, not farting, so rule two is what I say it is.) The latter is a taboo subject (tab-poo?), but I’m gonna go ahead talk about it. But I must include this disclaimer: I’ve never farted on a bike ride, like ever. I’m too classy. This is all data I heard from other people. Anyway, I’ll understand if this ain’t yo cuppa tea, however, I think you’ll find it refreshing. If you don’t, well, to quote the Fresh Prince of Belair: “Yo homes, smell ya later!” I hope you’ll stick around. Like a bad, well, you know…

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