Last year at this time I was not well, so I had to postpone my long annual ride. I eventually got ‘er done, which you can read about in 11/11/2022: 4,000 Miles + Longest Ride of the Year = Tired But Still Pedaling. This year, it seems I’m on track to make it tomorrow, and the weather looks good if a bit grey. I thought it would be interesting and useful to look at what goes into the preparations (and things to avoid). The Three P’s of Performance (as I just began to call them this very moment) are: 1. Physical 2. Practical 3. Psychological. I call dibs on that title, which is a technical legal term for pre-trademarking. Which I’m sure the trademark nerds would say that dibs won’t work, but that’s an example of why they’re nerds. I likee nerds, and was a band geek myself. I digress. Let’s get to it.

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While these steps might be used by those who do races, preparation for racers and the pros is much more involved. Fortuately, I’m neither, just a mere mortal dude. In fact, I’m looking forward to reading a book called Slow AF Run Club: The Ultimate Guide for Anyone Who Wants to Run, because it sounds comparable to my book in progress. Anyway, a long run, swim, or ride–regardless of speed or if the field of competitors is 175 others in the Tour de France, or just yourself on a Tour de You–is something to approach seriously. Done correctly, you will reduce pain, avoid injury, and shorten recovery time. But first, a disclaimer: I’m not a bicycle coach, doctor, or personal trainer. I’m just a dude. This is for informational or entertainment purposes only, so use at your own risk. Your mileage may vary (literally).

Let’s Get Physical

Olivia Newton-John sang it best. While that childhood crush and sweaty smoke show in a leotard and headband singing 81’s biggst pop hit is not required for bike ride training, add it to your playlist if you like. But thank you, Tempo Rider down undah in Australia. (Speaking of Men at Work, that Aussie bad was my frst indoor concert; I got to the third row.) Here’s a bullet list of things my brain just vomited up on the page germanee to this topic, in no particular order:

• Base miles: Don’t you dare think you can just head out one day for a long ride without building up to it. Unless you’re young, energetic, and a bit crazy. Laying down a month at minimum of regular bike rides to get your body used to T.ime I.n T.he S.addle is very important.
• The 80% Rule: While it’s ot hard and fast, more tha one bicycling website says to ride this much of your total and no more. For example, for a 50-miler, you’d do 40. Less is okay, but 80% is a good amount to have in your legs. More than 80% is okay if you get plenty of …
• Nutrition: You should probably eat some healthy food to fuel your body for your daily life as well as your big ride. As for what to eat, no one actually knows. Okay, carbohydrates, fats, and protein. But what sources, how much, etc. is hotly debated. There is something to carbo-loading to make sure your muscles have enough glycogen in them, but don’t overdo it. One rule I do know about is don’t change up your diet right before or the day of the ride. You don’t need a visit from one of the Rrhea twins, and I don’t mean Gona, but her sister Dia. On the day of the ride, eat enough to not bonk. Maybe some chews and gels and sports stuff work for you. Don’t pig out, either. That’s for after.
• Hydration: Some people swear by drinking a little bit of water every 15 minutes for a couple of days before the ride. Not a bad idea if you can keep it up and manage the hourly skips to the loo. If you’re pee is totally clear, that’s probably too much. If it’s yellow, or you’re thirsty, you’re dehydrated already. When I did charity rides, I liked to take an Epsom salt bath the morning of the ride. On the ride, it’s doubtful you can over do it. Plan for where to refill your bottles.
• Rest: This is a case of do as I say, not as I do. Taking days off the bike between rides is a good idea, and so is getting plenty of sleep, if you can. At least two nights in a row before your big ride is ideal. Alternating with other types of exercise is ideal, too. This gives the muscles time to heal, which is how they grow. Afterward, plan on a tasty nap and a good night’s sleep.
• Tapering: I wrote a post on this back in December of 2020 called It’s Tapering Time: Biking Leess Meas Health Gains. Really a subset of Rest, basically, you cut back on your biking a week or more before your bike ride. The time depends on the distance, your levels of fatigue or freshness, and personal preference. But if you keep the legs turning over a little bit, that’s fine, too.

Practical Matters… Matter

There are probably plenty of books written on this subject, so this is just my hot take and not meant to be comprehensive. If you’ve done longer rides before, you’ll probably recognize most of the things. But I think it’s a pretty good list with some A Dudee Abike twists.

• Bike: Tune it up yourself at your commuity shop like Yellow Bike Project if you have one. If not, try to take it to a trusted mechanic. You don’t want any surprises.
• Gear: The volunteer coordinator at YBP found a couple of gashes in my rear Gatorskin tire. Fortunately they had a gently used equivalent brand and size for a low cost. Be sure to have back-up tubes, a pump or C02 cartridges (don’t forget the dispenser!). Shades, good gloves, socks, chamois-lined shorts and Chamois Butt’r. Maybe a back-up charger. ID and insurance card, cash. Pretty obvious but if you don’t have the checklist internalized you better write it down.
• Route: Know what’s going on in your area and map out the road. If you’re not gravel or mountain biking, maybe even drive it in advance What day of the week, or times of day are best? Is there a parade? Festival? Street fair? Construction? Roads that may flood or wash out. Alternate routes are good to have in your back pocket, or on the map.
• Weather: Yeah, kinda obvious. But you really should be prepared for what’s coming. Tak heed of weather forecasts. Recently we got hail the sze of dog poop, and it broke my housemate’s friend’s windshield twice and put lots of dings in the hood and roof. If it’s going to be raining, hailing, snowing, lightning, icing (not on the cake kind… Mmm… cake!), etc., pay attention. Do you check multiple several weather websites a week before and in the days leading up to your event? What about the hourly weather two days before the ride? Take a good poncho and shoe covers, but also common sense. You may want or have to reschedule if you can or must. Sunscreen and sleeeves for hot sun, and if you’re worried about UV exposure, a big hat to wear under your helmet that covers your neck, ears and face as possible is a good idea. Removable layers if it’s a little cool.

Psycho Killer, Quest Que C’est?

There’s really only one bullet for this, but that would look bad, so I’l split it out.

• Believe you can do a long ride, and you’re more than halfway there.
• Miles are mental, in many respects. A 50-mile ride may seem daunting. Four 12.5 milers? Piece of cake. So break it down, one mile at a time, and take breaks. Slow down if you must.
• A sort of Zen Buddhist approach to the ride doesn’t hurt. If you build it up in your brain that it’s going to be this super hard thing, you may be bringing more suffering upon yourself.
• Things will go wrong. Roll with them.
• Have fun.
• Live to ride another day.
• Regardless of the outcome, congratulate yourself and be proud. Whatever you did is far better than you laying on the couch watching TV.

Now, go get yourself cleaned up and go lay down on the couch watching TV. And that’s it! my list of the Three P’s approach to a long bike ride (or other effort). Let me know what you think in the comments.

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