Versimilitude: Leap Day Twenty Twenty Poem

Sitting at my keyboard
wondering what to type
college friend emails from India
she ain't got no Skype
Once did yoga on her lawn
sun-drenched shorts of orange 
light dappled her auburn hair
nothing rhymes with orange
I've no right to write poetry
just a simple bike ridin' dude
but who says I can't rhyme
and speak of versimilitude?
Barely rode my bike this week
cuz of my damn temp job
gotta pay the man rent, man
or land on the street, a slob
Have you heard the news today?
oh boy, every day a new doozy
while the tyrant rants and sycophants blather
I'd really rather just take another snooze, see?
It's sunny out there but pitch dark inside
seconds, minutes, hours pass relentlessly
time's on no one's side but its own
never ever can shake this baby called ennui
Can't get no satisfaction, though I try sometimes
through time and space I move this body of girth
endless campaign, killer virus, stock market crash
Antartica's melting; not to worry, people of Earth!
Don't worry, be happy, this too shall pass
worst form of government, 'cept all the rest - democracy
real Americans do retail therapy, Netflix and chill
problem is telling truth from lies, what's real from hypocrisy
Honesty is hardly ever heard, word to your muthah 
zone out to your jams, take your medicine and sleep
put on a happy face, fear not, and be of good cheer
might as well jump to conclusions and take a faithful leap

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The Kids Bikes in Stranger Things: Fighting Monsters, Freedom and Fun

I’ve just begun watching Stranger Things, the moody, spooky Netflix sci-fi series about a group of kids searching for one of their own who goes missing. And then the weird stuff transpires. Set in the 80’s, when I was a teen, the show has a very Stephen King vibe to it (there’s even a direct shout out to him). Season 3 is being released on July 4th, Independence Day, fittingly enough. Because like on the show, when you’re a kid, bikes mean the ability to feel free. The wind in your face and hair, and that feeling of almost flying, or floating. Luckily, grown-up kids get to recapture that sensation, too.

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When I Can’t Pedal I Get Crank-y: Bike Puns for Fun

For those living under a rock, or in the southern Arabian peninsula — under Iraq (ha ha ha!) — the pun is a form of humor that dates back to Egyptian hieroglyphics. If English is not your first language, or you have an impaired sense of humor, let me explain the title of this post. You see, cranks are what connect the pedal to the bike. And because riding a bike is good for one’s mood, being cranky is both ironic and a pun about that. Because if I can’t use my bicycle, I become grumpy. Having to explain a joke is a sure sign it’s not that funny. However, it’s still a pun. But if you got a chuckle or not, keep reading. (You can read my previous attempt at bike humor called A Bicyclist Rides Into a Bar: Some Bike Jokes I Wrote Just for You.)

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